To my parents,
To this day I am mad at the both of you, for having to get a fucking divorce, for tearing the family apart. It’s the cause of my pain sadly and I hate you both for it.
Where to begin…
Mother.
I love you, and you are sort of my hero. We don’t have the best of a relationship and we fight all the time but I look up to you and I don’t know where I would be without you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for hating you because you moved us up here, and saying that I don’t like it up here. I have mixed emotions about this place, that’s all. You are an amazing mom. You would do anything for me; for any of us and you try your best at everything. You try to make this the best life for us and we don’t appreciate it or you enough. Or I don’t. I’m a bitch and I know I am. But I want you to know, I do keep everything you tell me in mind and I do listen to you constantly. If I were to lose you, I would kill myself because you’re one person in my life that I know will always be there.
Daddy.
I love you and miss you so much, and I wish that you would come back to us. I hate not having you around, not seeing you every day. You’re my father. But at the same time I hate you. I hate what you did to us. You were mean, especially to me, once Amanda and Helen were out of the house. You never wanted to hear what I had to say, and always told me to “shut up” when you would rather watch your t.v shows and drink your beer. I hated the constant abuse, especially the beatings to the three of us, and what you would do to them if they tried to stop you and try to protect me; protect their baby sister.Some of the only really detailed memories I have of my childhood were of these moments, and that kills me. I wish you would have always been the fun-loving guy we knew you were capable of being. You were a good dad besides the abuse to all of us. You always gave us what we wanted and we went to different places all the time, and on amazing family vacations. Without you, our family has fallen apart. Rumors have spread, and people haven gone a tad nutty. Whether they’re true or not, you have hurt us, all of us and I hope one day you will realize what you left behind, and what you’re missing out on.
