but I do know that these thoughts running through my head are going to kill me. Should I stay or should I go? That’s the question right now. We’ve been together ten long months. We’ve broken up a few times, you cheated on me, I cheated on someone I love(d) with my whole heart with you, and I will never make that mistake again. The pain from that is like a burn. It will never go away; it will forever be stuck with me. It kills me to hurt people; anyone, and I wish that there was some way to make this easier, but there’s not. I need to stay strong, there’s no time for crying, my tears won’t help me now. I am more confused than I have ever been and this decision is killing me. Is it you or is it him? I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything, and i’m emotionless. I stare at this screen with the same blank; empty face that hasn’t changed for months. I wish it were that easy- easy enough to straight up tell you I still love him, that part of me still longs for him, because he was my first love. But I can’t, there’s no way I can. I love you more than you probably realize but what have we come to? And is there a turning back? Is there a way we can fix this; make this all better, and make the fighting stop? I don’t know. And i’m not sure how long it is going to take me before I do know. ♥
Notes
